Puppy Love

May 11th, 2010. It was dusk. Karen was sitting on the floor, with her back to the refrigerator, patiently waiting it out with the new puppy, Tidbit, who was refusing to eat the antibiotics my wife had been desperately trying to administer into his mouth. Suddenly, Little Karen bounded into the room, startling me and the puppy. Tidbit peed. I rolled my eyes.
    "Mommy, can I see your keys?" she asked.
    I handed Karen the roll of paper towels. We keep a roll at the ready; the peeing happens so frequently.
    "I know where this is going." I said casually. "The answer is not on your six year old life." 
    "I need to go to the store. I'm planning something secret." said Little Karen. She kept talking. "If you don't be quiet, You're not going to get to see it. Or eat any of it."
    "You're not even of legal age to ride in the front passenger seat of a car, let alone, drive one. The police would drive you off a cliff if they saw you driving a car around here." I reasoned. Then added, "Who gave you permission to cook again, anyway?"
    She changed the subject. She knew me. 
    "Who's winning?" she asked.
    "Traffic Town. 2-0. That new kid, No.48, has been amazing. He's young, though. He's a pup. Like Tidbit." I said.
    Seemingly on cue, Tidbit yelped loudly, and jumped from Karen's clenches, peeing wildly.
    "Karen!" I yelled. 
    Tidbit ran out of the room; spraying, of course, more pee as he went. Now it was Little Karen's turn to roll her eyes at me. Then she ran after him.
    Apparently, Karen had tried to use the paper towel tube like a blow-gun, shooting the pill into Tidbit's mouth. I looked at Karen. She was looking at me through an empty paper towel tube; she was an aimless ship's captain, looking through a hapless, cardboard telescope, drifting slowly out to sea. "We're out of paper towels." she said.
    I paused. "Can I see your keys?" I asked her.
    Little Karen yelled from somewhere distant in the house, "I'm coming with you!"
    Karen softly tossed me the car keys. Little Karen pranced back into the kitchen cradling Tidbit in her arms. Tidbit spit the pill out of his mouth.
    "But you're still not eating my surprise!" she announced.
    Little Karen and I listened to the rest of the game on the car radio while we made the ride across town to the paper towel outlet. The Dargers exploded with a barrage of antipersonnel bombs in the waning hour of the desert skirmish to give the raw, young rifler his first taste of battle glory! We got home too late for Little Karen to make her secret surprise; fortunately, she fell asleep a mile from the house. I pulled into the garage and carefully handed her off to Karen, who whisked her to bed. I unloaded our bounty of paper towel rolls, and popped a pill into my mouth. Nobody had to trick me into swallowing it.
W is for House Break