Caged Tiger

May 22nd, 2010. We were less than a mile departed from the stadium. "We're going to be late, dog-brain!" I yelled. Darger and I were racing down the exit ramp and onto the Freeway, trying to beat the early breach of traffic swarming from the Ravine. Over the cresting, AM waves of my car radio, Traffic Town was hammering down the final outs in another finely constructed home-sweet-home victory. It was 4PM.
    "Everybody leaves early with a lead like this!" I yelled. "Dammit! Karen has a hair appointment in twenty minutes! Do you know what this means?!" I yelled again. I wasn't yelling over the radio. I was yelling over the horribly loud hum resulting from the vibrating, rear window that was rolled down to counterbalance  Darger's idiocentric carsickness. Speeding along the Freeway with a rear window lowered at half-mast can be a deafening, slaphappy, killjoy. I glanced in the rear-view mirror. Darger had his eyes rolled upward, and both hands were covering his mouth.
    "There's no time for me to drop you off! You're going to have to come with us!" I bemoaned out loud, and sped past the slower moving traffic. I was close to home, so I phoned ahead, and told the babysitter to have Karen ready and waiting in the driveway. Kooky Cutters, the kid-friendly, parent-pricey, hair salon was on the other side of town. I was going to have to take the Freeway if I was going to make the appointment; Darger was going to be sick, and Karen was going to have a hissy-fit.
    "You don't say a word, numbskull!" I instructed Darger. "I'm going to pretend I don't know you. We can't trust Karen. She'll rat us out. I'll tell her you fell off a bike or something. I'll say that I found you in the road, and I'm giving you a ride home. I'll make something up. You keep your mouth shut. You ate too many peanuts, you idiot!"
    I eased into the driveway, and immediately fell prey to Karen's maliciously suspicious inquisition.
    "Where have you been?!" she poked. "Are we going to miss my haircut? Mommy said I could get my hair cut today!" she prodded. Then she saw Darger.
    "Who's that weirdo?!" she screamed.
W is for Window seat.