June 11th, 2010. Karen's last day of Kindergarten, coincidentally falling on the last day of my summer vacation, was supposed to be a celebration- a time to reflect, snap a few photos, and dine on cupcakes- so I was fortunate enough to drop by a little later than normal yesterday, practically missing the closing ceremony entirely. Big Karen glared at me when I entered the back of the school gymnasium, and when I bumped into the back row of plastic chairs - the kind can you buy at the Food-4-All - Little Karen followed suit.
A short time later, I was frantically devouring a small bounty of conciliatory chocolate cake when they walked past me on their way to the buffet table. "Hey First Grader!" I sang out.
"I'm not in First grade, yet." snarled Little Karen. "I'm Post-K." she added, as she grabbed the plastic plate piled high of guilty pleasure from my hand.
"Okay, Post-K." I said. "There's no rush."
But she was already gone. She was grabbing a handful of gummi worms from the elaborate spread put before her by the graduation committee committed to fortifying the children with superfluous confections. Big Karen was standing beside me now.
I tried to rally. "Post-K? She belongs in Special-K!" I laughed.
Big Karen elbowed me in the chest.
"You're such a boob." she muttered. Then she, too, reached for the bowl of sugary, little snakes.
L is for Value the Child Left Behind.
Saturday, June 12, 2010
Friday, June 11, 2010
Dead Bird Falling
June 9th, 2010. On Wednesday night, the Dargers defeated the Arch enemy from Missouri for the third straight day, sending the beaten band of barons back to the river bend. The Darger regulars hope to build on the strong momentum as they gear up for a highly anticipated conflict with their neighbors driving up Interstate 5 from El Ciudad de Raton de Miguel.
W is for Kriegsheld .
W is for Kriegsheld .
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
Topped Gun
June 8th, 2010. For the second day, the citizens of Traffic Town rushed the hours away, driving in the anxiety-riddled heat, waiting for the renowned, red flying ace to take flight. Nonetheless, a promotional-sized crowd turned out to witness to the sky battle.
Matching his aerial adversary in every aspect of effort, effectiveness, and emotion, No.18 fought, perhaps, his best battle of the 2010 campaign. He baffled the buschwhackers with his battle plan, allowing the Darger ground forces time to draw the opposing army into a war of attrition- ultimately, grounding the enemy ace. The departure opened the door for No.99, who promptly launched a compliant rocket blast over the overstretched defenses who had been trying to overrun the ravine. Any thought of a retaliatory strike from the nuclear superpower was eradicated by the celebrational big gun, No.51.
W is for Cardinal fin.
Matching his aerial adversary in every aspect of effort, effectiveness, and emotion, No.18 fought, perhaps, his best battle of the 2010 campaign. He baffled the buschwhackers with his battle plan, allowing the Darger ground forces time to draw the opposing army into a war of attrition- ultimately, grounding the enemy ace. The departure opened the door for No.99, who promptly launched a compliant rocket blast over the overstretched defenses who had been trying to overrun the ravine. Any thought of a retaliatory strike from the nuclear superpower was eradicated by the celebrational big gun, No.51.
W is for Cardinal fin.
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
Aim Low-Shoot High!
June 7th, 2010. The city of Traffic Town was put on high alert Monday with the arrival of the arch-rival warmongers from the central plains. Swirling rumors of an Atomic bomb being detonated over Chavez Ravine paralyzed traffic throughout the city.
Much to the relief of the Darger's and the local citizenry, the rumors turned out to be just that, and the invading horde was pounced upon by a ready and able, mechanized fighting machine. It was the mightiest onslaught of firepower displayed by the Darger artillerymen since the earliest weeks of the war effort. Displaying the morale and fighting aptitude of an everyday soldier, Number 33, led the attack with multiple rocket strikes and a mile-high howitzer blast late in the assault.
The fresh-faced, air defenses, anchored by No.37, held up quite well, and kept the squadron of Atom bomb dropping red birds out of range for the night. But, on Tuesday, the fear and loathing will surely set in again, as the Red Baron is on deck to take to the skies.
W is for Fliegerabwehrkanone.
Much to the relief of the Darger's and the local citizenry, the rumors turned out to be just that, and the invading horde was pounced upon by a ready and able, mechanized fighting machine. It was the mightiest onslaught of firepower displayed by the Darger artillerymen since the earliest weeks of the war effort. Displaying the morale and fighting aptitude of an everyday soldier, Number 33, led the attack with multiple rocket strikes and a mile-high howitzer blast late in the assault.
The fresh-faced, air defenses, anchored by No.37, held up quite well, and kept the squadron of Atom bomb dropping red birds out of range for the night. But, on Tuesday, the fear and loathing will surely set in again, as the Red Baron is on deck to take to the skies.
W is for Fliegerabwehrkanone.
Monday, June 7, 2010
Sunday, June 6, 2010
Darger Day
June 6th, 2010. On a sunny, sky-filled, Sunday, sixty-six years after the Allied forces crash-landed on the bloody shores of Normandy Beach, the Dargers of Traffic Town attentively stormed back from multiple deficits to drowned out the penchant, pennant-chasing, rebel yells from the Peach State. The back-up planning of No.17 and No.55 eventually paid off for the home army, giving them a brief respite from the daily disorder of war, and an opportunity to refortify before another week of fighting resumes tomorrow.
W is for War Paint.
W is for War Paint.
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